Things to Consider Before Bringing Home a Dog
I never thought I’d write this blog. I’m not one to tell people what to do and as a once first time in-over-my-head puppy guardian, I’m certainly not one to throw stones.
But a recent article published on WBUR detailing one woman’s experience bringing home a “pandemic puppy” got me thinking. (Spoiler alert: the experience was so fraught the puppy ended up back with his breeder in a matter of days.)
Now I want to be clear, I see nothing wrong with bringing home a dog during this pandemic. Nor do I see anything wrong with needing to re-home a dog when it’s in everyone’s best interest.
What this article underscored for me, however, is the urgency to shift our cultural understanding of what it means to share our lives with living beings of another species.
Despite what our culture tells us, caregiving for non-human animals isn’t always meant to be easy or even pleasant. It can be deeply rewarding and life changing, but it’s also hard work that requires our patience, knowledge, time, and resources.
So here is some food for thought before deciding whether to bring a dog home—during this pandemic or otherwise.
Can you meet a dog’s needs?
Dogs are living beings and living beings have needs. This sounds redundant, but we tend to vastly underestimate what their needs are and what it takes to fully meet them.
Aside from safety, shelter, freedom from fear and pain, proper nutrition, and medical care, dogs also need social interaction, the ability to engage in natural behaviors, and physical and mental stimulation on a daily basis.
How much physical and mental stimulation may vary somewhat, but these needs are basic and non-negotiable.
For example, when I tell people that everyday—rain, snow, or shine—my medium sized, medium energy, 5-year old mixed breed dog gets at least two 45-minute off-leash walks, I often get a response along the lines of “wow, he’s really living the life.”
Yes, I’d like to think he has a nice life, but his walks aren’t a perk. They are a baseline for meeting his physical needs.
And all dogs, no matter their age, size, breed, or energy level, need to engage in natural behaviors on a regular basis, including scavenging, sniffing, digging, running, chasing, shredding, licking, chewing, and others. In other words, dogs need plenty of opportunities to be dogs.
Dogs living in urban environments are especially at a deficit when it comes to this. Far too many of us assume a 20-minute walk around a city block will get the job done. This isn’t so. Are you open to dedicating your time and energy to enriching your dog’s environment on a daily basis?
Dogs are also innately social beings. Just because so many American pet dogs spend 7+ hours home alone (often while crated) for most of their lives, doesn’t mean they should.
Long hours alone without proper mental and physical stimulation come at a high price. At best, dogs whose needs aren’t met become frustrated and destructive. At worst, more serious behavior problems will develop. No training in the world will successfully address a behavioral issue stemming from unmet basic needs.
Training isn’t optional
Our culture perpetuates many myths about dogs and their behavior, including the notion that training should somehow come easy or that anyone can do it.
Many of my clients often recount how their family dogs were trained by family members or didn’t require formal training at all.
Sure, some dogs may do well without much training, especially when living in environments where their needs are easily met and their people don’t hold very high expectations. But, in our modern world, more and more dogs are expected to adjust to densely populated areas, navigate crowded city streets, adapt to busy environments (e.g., high rises, cafes, breweries) and get along with all people and all dogs along the way.
Our expectations of dogs have become increasingly unrealistic.
What’s more, we expect behavior issues to be resolved as quickly as we expect an appliance to be fixed. Hence the countless gadgets that spray, zap, beep, shock, and otherwise scare, hurt, and startle dogs in order to get them to stop doing the normal stuff dogs do.
When bringing a member of another species into our homes we must understand that they don’t know the rules of our world and that, if we want them to behave in ways that work for us, we have to teach them what we want them to do. Behavior change takes time. Just think back to the last habit you tried to change. Was it quick and easy?
So please be prepared to hire a trainer and enroll in some group training classes. Be sure to do your research and work with a reputable, certified training professional practicing modern and humane training methods that are rooted in positive reinforcement.
And, although training advice from family and friends can be plentiful, please remember that having dogs “all their life” doesn’t make someone fit to be a trainer any more than having teeth equips someone to be a dentist.
Understand normal dog behavior
No matter how small, cute, or “hypoallergenic” they are, dogs and not little people with fur. It’s important to get acquainted with what normal dog behavior looks like and figure out whether it’s something you’re prepared to deal with.
Even the most “well trained” dogs will sometimes bark, chew, dig, chase critters, resolve conflict and express discomfort in the form of aggressive displays (yes, this is normal), and do otherwise doggie things.
Puppies need to be taught where to eliminate. This requires careful management and frequent potty breaks. Puppies come with needle sharp teeth and will engage in developmentally appropriate behaviors, such as mouthing and play biting. They need lots of time, attention, and patience.
The more we understand what normal dog behavior looks like, the less shocking the adjustment will be. Knowing what to expect is half the battle. Something I’m sure the author of the aforementioned article wishes she knew.
Dogs are individuals
No matter how much homework you do or how thoroughly you research a breed, the dog you bring home will be an individual.
This means that your dog will have their own personality, preferences, opinions, and quirks. Sometimes it’s a match made in heaven. Other times it requires some adjustment.
What often gets in the way of successful behavior change and truly joyful relationships is expecting our dogs to be something other than what they are. I know, I’ve been there.
Of course we can and should do our due diligence to choose a dog that will best match our lives. But let’s never forget that living beings don’t come with guarantees. Be prepared to adjust, compromise, and meet your dog where they are. After all, isn’t that what real, healthy, and rewarding relationships are all about?
In sum, sharing our lives with dogs can be one of the most profoundly special experiences. And if we allow it, it will be an experience that will challenge us, humble us, encourage us to see the world in a different way, and, hopefully, make us better human beings.
Suzanne Clothier says it best, so I will leave you with these final words.
“A life lived in a relationship with an animal has the power to make us both fully human and more fully humane. And this spills over, as a fullness of soul inevitably does, to other relationships, weaving its magic across our entire lives.”